- Using more colloquial language and phrases such as "gonna", "right", "got rid" and "way better" in order to make the dialogue more informal and conversational.
- Replaced news items about gaming technology with a feature on the game "Disney Infinity 3.0" to make the information more varied and interesting.
- Included news regarding the locally based gaming company "Sumo Digital" so that the script is appropriate for the remit of Sheffield Live TV as the station exists to serve the local community.
Below is a comparison of the first draft script we submitted to Vicky and adjacent is a copy of the new revised script we created based on her feedback. Any altered dialogue has been highlighted in yellow, whereas any new dialogue has been highlighted in blue.
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| Pages 1 Comparison |
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| Pages 2 Comparison |
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| Pages 3 Comparison |
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| Pages 4 Comparison |
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| Pages 5 Comparison |
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| Pages 6 Comparison |
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| Pages 7 Comparison |
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| Pages 8 Comparison |
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